HUMOR

The Ultimate Packing Guide for the Time Traveling Woman

Fancy yourself an outlander? Here’s the must-have list for this season’s time traveler.

Photo by Shaiith, Adobe Stock.

1. Certification that you are not a witch: Any word-processing program will help you come up with a convincing certificate of normalcy to act as your ‘get out of being burned alive card’ when someone overhears you singing Lizzo lyrics.

2. Dry shampoo.

3. A fake wedding ring: While this doesn’t always keep the guys at bay and you may still be forced to marry someone against your will, this trick might help you hold off the inevitable until someone like Sam Heughan comes along.

4. Hand sanitizer.

5. Black clothes and mourning veil: For a step up on the fake gold band, wear black and tell everyone you’re a widow. Half the guys will be put off because you’re no longer a virgin and you can try to hold off the rest by saying you’re still in mourning.

6. TAMPONS!

7. History book: Even if you paid attention in school, you’ll find this guide-book chock full of places and times to avoid.

8. Toilet paper.

9. Unboned dress stays: Yes, they’re expensive, but you’ll thank us later.

10. Antibiotics.

11. Little book of RBG quotes: Just like in the present, you’re going to have to channel RBG every day to survive this sexist patriarchal hell.

12. Plan B.

Whether you choose the 21st century or the 18th, safe travels, girls!